Sunday, May 2, 2010

First Entry ...Yay!

So I hear blogging is therapeutic. I never thought I would be sharing my business on the internet. BUT! I guess there is a first for everything.
So the main reason why I felt this was important to do was because I am now going through another devastating hoo boo hoo! (Sigh)
Cut to the third day after the break up. Today I found out my ex enjoyed his warm sunny Sunday out of town on his friend's new boat. While I stayed indoors until I had to work.
The moment I stepped outside for a cigarette, I found the day was fucking beautiful. And then I thought...he's enjoying himself...and I could've had a chance to be there with him. I'm fucking pissed.
Yes, I've spoken with ALL of my close girl friends to keep my head in perspective. You know who your friends are when you are the most vulnerable. And they are soooo willing to pick you up and dust you off. But, I also pat myself on the back for reaching out to them. When I was younger, I wouldn't have dared. I would'v kept it all inside because .... because ..I didn't know how to share then.
and what do you know? I'm not pissed anymore. I wish I could write a screen play about my whole love life with this last one. I'm sure people could relate. Girl meets boy, girl falls for boy, she think he's the one, until ...he has to wait for her to finish school, he adds on rent to take of care of her, he mistrusts her because of rumors about her from devious outsiders, she changes who she is for him, but is conflicted ..., the passionate love they once shared becomes buried under mistrust, financial woes, and stubborn indifferences....
so now what? where will their paths lead? back to each other?...permanently away from each other? ..I'm not going to hold my breath..

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