Monday, April 4, 2011

Day 2

Uh it comes. I woke up suddenly and bam! there he is..on my brain. The yearning. The anxiety. I have to remember why this is a good thing to keep from going crazy. I am literally shaking. Stay strong, stay strong, stay strong. I have to work through the pain. I cant drink it down, drug it down, deny it down, or whatever avoidance tactics there are. I'm thinking yoga at 9 a.m. I need to get out and be around people as much as possible.

My heart feels like it is pounding out of my chest. I have to remember we've been here before and he's going to be going through the same thing. Where there will be moments of weakness. Where his friends won't be there for him. He'll be alone and he'll need me again.

This breakup was just his initial reaction and he is throwing a tantrum. He is not the type to stay mad forever. (Part of me thinks, 'Yes it is! It's finally over, and it sucks..He's never coming back! I really screwed up this time!)

But I have thought this before. Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, times......

I'm starting to calm down now. I have to remember this is all for the best!

I think it's time to rebuild my life now.

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