Monday, April 4, 2011
So I had my very first yoga class and it was exhilirating! I cannot believe it took me this long to try it. It could've helped me through many situations. I definitely need to continue with this. I even met a new person, Kim. I'm not sure if I'll be able to see her in the next class. But at least it was nice to meet a new person. But thinking about Scott did seep in there. As soon as I woke up this morning, he was right in there. So I got my ass up to start yoga. I've already been through the depression stage where it was hard for me to even get out of bed and out of my head. I couldn't do that to myself again. But now, I'm at work. God! Please take me to the day shift. I don't mind working with the people I work with, I just hate the hours I have to work. No room for a life! Sometimes the irrational thoughts about Scott take me over, but I try to recenter myself and remember to let go. Part of me thinks, he'll be back. But the fear is that he will meet someone new since he's in a place where he is complete. He has his hangout, his friends, his money, and his own place. His future is going to be okay because he's playing his cards right with his employer. I know he still thinks about me and will keep thinking about me. I just wish he didn't hate me so much before we broke up. Ugh! but nevermind that..I have a long way to go. The dead time is what is killing me.